Wedding Photography is Ruining Weddings

I'm a wedding photographer. Wedding photography is ruining weddings.

Hear me out, wedding photography is SO IMPORTANT. As an industry and as people getting married, we've begun to value a posed photo over a moment.

Your mother helping you put your necklace on is a sweet photo if it's a real moment. What does that photo mean if she didn't actually help you out on jewelry? What is the point in pretending to do something for the mere sake of a photo?

It's time to get back to our roots and be honest and intentional with our wedding days. Love is sacred and its celebration should be too. Make time in your day to create and experience real. intentional moments that are worth having photos of.

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Questions to ask yourself about how you're spending time on your wedding day:

• "Is this an experience I want to have on our wedding day?"

• "How does this represent and celebrate my marriage?'

• "What is important enough to take up space and time on our day?"

• "Are we doing this because it fits us or because tradition says we have to?"

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Intentional practices to incorporate into your wedding day:

1. Get ready together

   Your day is about celebrating your love with your partner. Getting ready together surrounded by all of your friends or alone gives you more time to intentionally be together. 

2. Write good morning letters to each other

   Before your wedding day, write letters to each other about what you're most excited for about the day, your love for your person, or reminiscing on the time you've been together. 

3. Wedding party photos don't have to be boring.

   I always take a moment to gather the wedding party within a semi-circle around the person getting married to share what they love most about them. You can ask your wedding party to write letters to you to read together, plan to take a shot together, or just take fifteen minutes to intentionally spend time together. 

4. A moment for your Mom

   Moms tend to get a bit ignored on wedding days. There is traditionally a father-daughter dance. Dads often get their own first look. You can always take a moment to recognize Mom during your reception. You can prepare a special gift for her to give her in a private moment. You can write her a letter to express your love and admiration for her. 

5. Take a personal moment for the people you love

   Each of you can write letters to your parents, grandparents, in-laws, or anyone important to you and take a moment to read them out loud to them privately on your day. Taking a moment to personally deliver the letter or gift is worth your time.

6. Prayer or meditation

   If you're spiritual, take a moment to incorporate meditation or prayer into your day. Praying with your people can be so powerful and beautiful. 

7. A first touch or first look

   If you aren't getting ready together, consider a first touch or first look with your partner. Nearly every couple I have worked with has talked about the relief of seeing their partner at their first look. Even just holding hands and exchanging words before your ceremony can help comfort you. Make sure it's just you two, since an audience can make things feel a little tense.

8. Private vow exchange

   Exchanging your vows privately, either at a first look or after your ceremony, can create an intimate moment that you cherish forever. 

9. An end to the fake send-off

   First off, you don't have to have an exit. A fake send-off isn't totally necessary either. If you do want to walk through a tunnel of sparklers or dance under a rain of lavender, you can do it as an entrance into your reception or in your ceremony's processional after you kiss.
   If you do want a grand send-off, wait until you want the party to end (even if that means you pay the photographer to stay a bit longer). You can definitely still have a faux send-off, but try to do it before you start the big party or make it a part of the party.

10. Incorporate intentional details

    Whether it's your grandmother's antique ring or a detail that is specific to your relationship, make it a part of your day. Really cherish the personal aspects that make your wedding so unique.

If you want more inspiration or have any questions, reach out to me on Instagram at @therosereflective.

Hi friend, I’m Milly. I am an elopement and wedding photographer that offers couple’s boudoir (a.k.a. steamy sessions). I celebrate all love and am proud to advocate for inclusivity and diversity in the wedding industry. If you are looking for a photographer that values authentic, organic moments, you’re in the right place.

I am open to traveling anywhere. I specialize in southern elopements and weddings for LGBTQ+ couples. I am located in Florence, Alabama. I am conveniently centered between Birmingham and Nashville. Let’s grab some coffee (even if it’s over Zoom).

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